If you have ever felt like you are chasing success and yet never arriving, you are probably living in what Dan Sullivan and Dr Benjamin Hardy call the gap.

The gap is where you measure yourself against an ideal future — the version of you who has achieved more, earned more, built more. It is a moving target. Each time you get close, the goalposts shift.

The gain is different. It is where you measure backward instead of forward. You look at where you were six months ago, one year ago, five years ago, and you see how far you have come.

When you live in the gap, nothing feels enough. Wins lose their meaning. Even big progress feels small because you are comparing it to perfection.

When you live in the gain, everything changes. You feel momentum. Gratitude grows. Confidence builds because you are collecting evidence that you are already capable of progress.

In my coaching, I teach clients to step out of the gap and live in the gain. We slow down and take stock of how much they have already created. We build clarity around their next stretch goal, but we anchor it to their existing growth instead of endless comparison.

From this place you stop chasing and start leading. You can plan powerfully without feeling behind. You feel proud and excited instead of drained and stuck.

If you have been measuring yourself against a future you can never catch, it is time to change the way you track success.

Start every day by asking: Where was I before, and where am I now?

When you measure the gain, progress feels real and momentum builds faster than you expect.

If this shift speaks to you and you are ready to move from chasing to leading your own growth, let’s talk. Together we will create the clarity and emotional strength to build the life and career you want without living in the gap.